Women have spent the past couple hundred years fighting to be seen as equal to men. We can do the same jobs, go the same places, and act the same way with relatively little stigma attached to it. Sure, a girl who can burp the ABCs might seem a tad odd, but not nearly as much so as it would have in, say, 1906. So here's the thing. Why is it that girls flip for guys who hold doors open for them? We spend hours moaning that chivalry is dead and waiting for someone to ask us to dance despite our assurance that we want equal treatment. It's culturally acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out, but it's just a little odd, still. We don't want to have to do that, it's awkward. (Obviously, it must be awkward for the guy to ask out a girl, too, but still. That's a different kind of awkward.) It's like the roles are reversed, which doesn't make sense since, in theory, the roles are no different from one another.
I'll tell you my theory. Back when men opened doors for us, stood when a lady entered a room, and tipped their hats to them in the street, it was all automatic. It was expected, and to not comply would have been unthinkable. Rather than anything personal, it was just cultural. Even that knight in shining armor people are so keen on was probably out battling dragons and saving princesses as a matter of form.
When women's rights became a hot issue, a man holding the door for a woman indicated to an already slightly paranoid suffragist that he thought women were incapable of something so simple as opening a door for themselves. How can we ever be seen as equals when they think we're that incompetent? I'll open the door myself, thank you very much.
On the other hand, when a guy holds the door for me today in 2006, odds are, it's not because he is expected to or because he thinks I can't do it myself. We beat the last of both those mentalities out of them in the 60s while we were bra-burning feminazis. Today, a guy holding a door open for you probably indicates that they respect you, which is all we really wanted in the first place. The simple action means infinitely more now that they don't have to do it. So guys, hold the door for people. Girls, you can hold the door, too. Old ladies. Moms with their arms full of groceries and two-year-olds. Besides literally holding the door for folks, give them a hand in other, unexpected ways. Our culture could use a little more good-old-fashioned respect for others.
In other, less deep news, I think APUSH is starting to get to me. I've started to imagine people around me wearing powdered wigs. It's funny, but some people would look really good in them, while others would just look silly. Then there's the ones who would have worn the cop-out brown-hair-in-a-ponytail look in colonial times. It's funny how you can just picture it. Or maybe it's just me.
Yes, it's pretty definently just me.
3 comments:
Oh man. You make me laugh every time. This is very good. I try to hold that door, but some people... they just don't want me to. Haha.As for the last part of your post. Yes it's just you.
Aub,
I often hold doors for people and it makes me feel good. Besides it is fun to see their faces when you do it unexpectedly...
And I do appreciate it when men open the door for me. And I always make sure I thank them for doing it. I consider it a sign of respect not necessarily that they have to do it because I am a woman. Like you said we should be doing it as an act of courtesy to anyone.
The other thing men should do is if you're walking on the sidewalk, they should walk on the outside of the street. It's less well known, but it's how I would seperate the playas from the knights.
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