Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Will you be my Valentine?

Here it is; the long awaited Valentine's day rant. First off, were it not for the candy and greeting card industries, there would be no holiday, especially for those of us who are... romantically uninvolved. Forever. Before this spirals further into self-pity and self-depreciation, I will change the topic. At my school, there is a pageant for senior boys known as the Mr. North pageant wherein the contestants have to raise as much money as possible for charity. Fine and good. However, on Valentine's day, you can pay money to have a "Val-o-gram" delivered by one of these strapping young lads dressed in a tux for the occasion. For an extra dollar or so, you can have the messenger sing the contents of said Val-o-gram. Now, allow me to ask, who would enjoy receiving such a val-o-gram? That's right, enamored high school girls. Is it likely that these girls' boyfriends would be terribly excited to shell out $3-$7 for another boy to sing a sappy valentine to his girl? I would guess not. So, logically, the majority of the valentines delivered will be from these girls' fellow girl friends. Friendship, however, is not the point of Valentine's day, romantic love is. Therefore, the entire concept underlying the Mr. North Val-o-grams is fallacious, and the whole venture ought to be abandoned. Plus, the word Val-o-gram is just dumb. A valentine is already a message, and adding -gram onto it is just redundant. On the other hand, maybe I'm just bitter. Yes. That's probably it. Sorry.